


Not Suppose To Love You Anymore

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-26
Updated: 2003-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-27 13:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12082311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian and Justin break up and come back together again.





	Not Suppose To Love You Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Brian sat staring blankly at the tv. It had been a month, A MONTH since they broke up but it still hurt like hell. Being with someone for ten years is hard to get over. It wasn't just one persons idea they both agreed.

\--We agreed that it was over  
Now the lines have all been drawn  
The vows we made began to fade  
But now they're gone  
Put your pictures in a shoe box   
And my gold ring in a drawer  
I'm not suppose to love you anymore--

Justin had finally gotten in good under the wire. They were going to get married. They were going to have two children (besides Gus) and a dog (thanks to Justin's nagging). They were going to live in L.A. They already had their house picked out.

\--Oh I shouldn't care  
Or wonder where or how you are  
But I can't hide the hurt inside my broken heart  
I'm fighting back emotions that I've never felt before  
Cause i'm not suppose to love you anymore--

Justin felt tears streaming down his face. This was suppose to be their wedding day. The day they would be one with each other. He didn't even know what possessed them to break up. They had been so happy together. So free. He looked at the clock. 3:37 a.m. He wondered what Brian was doing. If he would be sleeping or watching infomercials. If he was out with someone else. He started to think about what could have been. They ended and after Brian finally was letting all walls down, becomming a "normal" person. 

\--Now i'm writing you this letter  
And it's killing me tonight  
That I agreed that you believed it wasn't right  
And I couldn't sleep up on the bed   
So i'm down here on the floor  
Where i'm not suppose to love you anymore--

Brian stared at the blank paper in front of him. He picked up the pencil. "Dear Justin," he started but quickly erased it. How do you write a letter that would capture your emotions? How do you tell the person that has half your heart that you can't go on without them anymore? That when you said that you didn't do love, you lied because you did. Too much, maybe.

\--Oh I shouldn't care  
Or wonder where or how you are  
But I can't hide the hurt inside my broken heart  
I'm fighting back emotions that I've never felt before  
Cause i'm not suppose to love you anymore--

They both agreed that things were going to soon to fast. Justin being 27 and Brian believing he wasn't ready for a commitment like that. But what did it get them besides pain and misery? 

Justin picked up the phone and closed his eyes, dialing the familiar numbers.

"Hello?" A tired voice answered.

Justin wanted to hang up. "I'm sorry I woke you up." He was starting to hang up.

"No. Justin?" Brian asked softly.

"Yeah it's me." Justin nodded.

Brian sucked in a breath. "Is everything alright?"

Another nod. "Yeah. I just, look I don't even know why I bothered you. I'm sorry."

"Justin don't hang up." Brian begged. "Why are you calling?"

Justin cleared his throat. "I guess I just wanted to hear your voice, Bri."

"Justin-" Brian didn't know what to say.

Justin sighed. "I miss you."

"I miss you too." 

"I still love you." Justin breathed.

Brian rubbed his eyes and sighed.

"Look, I know i'm not suppose to, but I do. You still have half of me with you." Justin was crying now. "And i'm not sure how to be me without you. I think about you every second of the day. You are everything that I am today. I just don't understand why we...why we..." He couldn't finish. It was too much.

"Justin if I asked you to start over again. I mean from the beginning. Would you?" Brian choked out.

"Do you mean before we got together?" Justin was trying to control his breathing.

Brian shook his head. "I mean before we met each other."

Justin thought for a moment. "Yes."

Both men took their time and controlled their emotions. 

"Well then. Hi i'm Brian Kinney." Brian said into the phone.

Justin smiled. "Justin Taylor."

And that was it. No fireworks, no love making. Just two men so far apart but connected by one thing, their love.

 

(Song By Clay Aiken)


End file.
